don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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