Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
