I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.