It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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