Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think your dad took our porno
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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