Someone shit on the floor
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
