My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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