Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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