I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
