awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
