The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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