and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
