You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
