my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
