He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
