her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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