her vagine was all disorganized.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize