Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
