booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize