he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
