perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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