You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
