i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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