Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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