he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
