You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
