I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
