that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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