At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
