I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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