Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
