they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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