carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
