i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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