what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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