Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize