dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize