But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
