the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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