Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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