She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
God, I missed his penis.
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