She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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