How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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