Where did you get a picture of my penis
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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