I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
