wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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