And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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