You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
