If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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