R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
