I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize