I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
