i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
sex in a hospital.. check
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
