There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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